A Winner Is Two!: Round 1: Membrane vs Vitali
by RC0022
Summary: Second character "fight" for avatarjk137's tournament A Winner Is Two! featuring Prof. Membrane from Invader Zim and Vitali the Ethereal from Soul Nomad & the World Eaters! Although this isn't a fight as much...


Dedication to Their Crafts

Despite the annoyance of being kidnapped and taken to a strange location, Professor Membrane had taken it all in stride with a scientific interest in the local fauna of the island. There wasn't much else to interest the scientist in the area he had woken up in; he wasn't much of a "beach" person, so after a short trek up a gentle incline he had begun his examination.

"How peculiar!" he said to himself as he examined a group of plants at the edge of one of the numerous forests, using the technical readouts from his goggles to tell him as much as they could.

"The vegetation here appears near-identical to that of the samples from home and yet each specimen has subtle differences." He continued before standing up straight and pounding a fist into his open hand. "If only I had my lab equipment!" Membrane shouted to the air as melodramatically as possible.

All the while he was completely oblivious to the fact that he was being observed incredulously by another contestant on the island.

---

Vitali the Ethereal had been watching the strange man in the white lab coat for some time, hidden amongst the trees, trying to decide if he could make a valuable ally in the fight for survival on Grand Cross Isle.

Trying to be friendly in a tournament such as this often proved easier said than done but with his own abilities to remain unseen and unheard at least he could observe potential allies and enemies without fear of being attacked.

His hope that this man was a cleric like himself, they were wearing the same colours after all. was rapidly diminishing as he observed the extravagant behaviour and mannerisms he exhibited.

This contestant was quite clearly mad.

---

Reaching inside his coat Membrane fished out a glass test-tube from the many rows that lined the inside of the fabric. Collecting the samples and storing them away safely he set off towards the mountain again. One part of his brilliant mind had deduced that that was where he would find the means to escape and return to his precious work but another part told him that there was possibly a lab he could use there, which was all the motivation he needed.

"Greetings sir, if you would kindly wait a moment, I have a request." A rather calm and pleasant voice said from behind him.

Turning around Membrane saw a man with long dark hair dressed in white addressing him. His clothing appeared to be a gown of some sort, with an accompanying hat, and he possessed sharp features and a long face.

"I am Vita-"

"_Another_ eager fan?! My, my, you were certainly sneakier than most to get this close to me, Professor Membrane! Could you possibly be in possession of some form of cloaking device? I've never seen such dedication before!"

Throughout this new rant Vitali tried, and failed, to get a single word in as Membrane continued to talk about the many numerous prototype cloaking devices he had seen over the years, his hair and lab coat flying about with his enthusiasm.

Seizing a pause Vitali managed to calmly say "I'm not a fan, I've never even heard of you before…"

"You've never heard of me? The PROTECTOR of the EARTH! Hmm given your name and apparel it would be safe to assume you must be foreign. Ah my poor insane son has a little foreign friend! Or perhaps, like me, you are from a different world? For we are surely in a different location from our home planets!" he shouted ominously, with much arm flailing, and not caring to elaborate as to how he'd come to that conclusion. "This organisation must have access to an inter-dimensional device! The fools! Tampering with such a thing could very well dest-"

"Professor!" Vitali interrupted before the rambling scientist could go into another lecture about something he didn't understand. "My request is if you would consider the possibility of working together on this island. Combining both of our abilities and skills could well ensue we both survive here."

"Survival? Boy we are perfectly safe here. So safe in fact that you are the only other person I have encountered! And what abilities would these be? It sounds as if you are in possession of some sort of power…which would be ridiculous!"

With no small amount of uncertainty Vitali decided to elaborate. What was the worst that could happen after all?

"Well I _do_ have the ability to heal people, I am a cleric."

With the majority of Membranes face hidden Vitali only had the man's eyes, and eyebrows, to gauge his feelings and the sceptical raised eyebrow was anything but promising.

"You have first aid kits on yourself? Excellent! Paramedics are always helpful in strange locations!" he said, elongating the word strange for emphasise.

"No, no, you don't understand. The healing I use is of a…magical nature."

Now, as a man of "real science", the term "magical" is oft looked down upon. It associated with the shameful practise of the paranormal which, to Membrane, does not constitute as science at all.

With a dramatic gasp Membrane stepped back, hands raised. "Egad! This situation is far worse than I could have possibly calculated! You appear to have a case of temporary insanity! But, given your age and your continued belief of such nonsense I can only conclude that you're suffering from PERMANENT INSANITY!"

---

For the second time in too short a space of time Vitali found himself with an incredulous look on his face. "Permanent insanity? Professor I think you may be confused, I am not-" he started, trying to be the voice of reason, (although when dealing with a dangerous and headstrong being like Gig that role was as regular as the sun rising each day) only for Membrane to cut him off yet again.

"In such a location I am ill-equipped to help someone of your condition, once I return home I'll be able to alert the proper authorities to escort you to the institution! But for now…"

Not waiting to hear more Vitali acted. This scientist was now very clearly of the "mad" variety and he wasn't going to let this professor injure both of them in a needless struggle.

Conjuring a gust of wind the cleric directed it at the scientist only to watch as the other man performed a rather impressive, and thoroughly unexpected, jump and flip over Vitali's head, landing behind him and spinning around while hurling some form of energy blast at his back, sending him sprawling.

As he hit the ground his head connected with a rather innocent rock and his vision quickly faded to black. But not before hearing "It's a good thing I exist!"

---

Having dealt with the poor insane boy Professor Membrane continued onward towards the central mountain knowing he'd already done some good on the island. He'd had to improvise the manner he had restrained the deluded foreigner but it would all be worth it once he had a chance to alert the good people at the Crazy House for Boys.

It was indeed a good day for science!

---

As consciousness slowly returned Vitali let out a small moan. Trying to reach up to inspect his throbbing head proved futile as he found numerous lengths of tied wire crisscrossing and wrapped around him.

"Great…" he muttered, thankful to at least be positioned upright but still rather annoyed.

Now he would have to wait for Gig to find him or wait for the deranged scientist to send somebody. The thought of which filled him with dread.

_It could be worse though, I could be dead._

**Author's note: **And there we go, Vitali the Ethereal vs. Professor Membrane**, **slightly delayed, sorry about that!

Once again this was an opponent I knew next to nothing about so this was another challenge.

On top of that two characters that aren't actually fighters proved to be another challenge…perhaps Membrane wasn't the best choice to enter into this!

Turns out Membrane can shoot beams of energy (yeah it was in an episode of _Invader Zim_, I'm not making that up) but as for the flip, I just thought it would be different.

So, sorry most of this is talking, hopefully I made that entertaining enough to read! And sorry for the lame title...


End file.
